Getting back out there can be daunting. If you’ve just gone through a breakup, even the thought of meeting someone new can feel exhausting. The idea of getting to know someone, introducing them to your friends and family, and figuring out if their energy fits yours is a lot to process. If you’ve been single for a while, you may feel added pressure from friends and family to finally partner up. But dating is hardly simple. In order to be a good partner to someone, you have to be good by yourself. The healthiest relationships are those in which both partners are self-actualized and ready for a deeper connection. It’s time to find love, but first, you have to prepare yourself.
Recovering From Heartbreak
If you’ve had your heart broken, you absolutely must work through that pain first before you can think about dating someone new. Though it’s an oft quipped phrase that the best way to get over someone is to get with someone new, that’s not really true. Dating someone else might be a decent distraction for a moment, but you’ll quickly realize that you’re constantly comparing your new beau to your old one.
Ultimately, you won’t have fixed the real problem at hand. Instead of jumping right back into the ring, take time to process the loss. Feel all the anger, grief, loss, and nostalgia. Practice some serious self-care. Bond with your friends. Take up some new hobbies, and get that cathartic, post-breakup haircut. If you find that your grief borders on depression, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional.
Get your head right.
Even if you haven’t gone through a recent breakup, it’s always a good idea to see a therapist before entering the dating game again. A therapist can help you with everything from dealing with heartbreak to unpacking childhood trauma and addressing day-to-day annoyances.
If you don’t know what to expect during your first therapy session, don’t worry. It’s a low-pressure situation. Your therapist will ask you what your goals are for therapy and if there are any immediate issues you’d like to address. This session is also an opportunity for you to see if they’re a good fit for you. In many ways, this first meeting is like a first date. You’re both finding out if you’re a good therapeutic match. After this appointment, you’ll be on your way to a more whole and healthy you.
Protect yourself.
Dating in the 21st century is no easy proposition. Gone are the days of the meet cute. Meeting someone at a bar feels dangerous. Dating a coworker is a risky bet, and making friends as an adult is notoriously difficult, so forget being set up. What’s a single gal supposed to do to meet someone?
More and more people are turning to online dating, so that’s always an option. But there’s a justifiable fear that your would-be suitors aren’t who they say they are. You need to figure out how to know if you’re being catfished. When you first start your online dating journey, be wary of profiles that seem too good to be true, and trust your instincts. If you feel like something is “off,” you’re probably right. It’s not called “women’s intuition” for nothing!
Look your best; feel your best.
When it comes to dating, getting your mental health sorted out is your top priority. That being said, once you feel emotionally fortified and ready to date, there’s nothing wrong with making yourself feel confident by other means. Practicing meditation, exercising, and establishing some killer self-care routines can do wonders for your dating confidence. Of course, splurging a little on some date outfits and a thong or two wouldn’t hurt either.
Twenty-five percent of women report that underwear can impact (positively or negatively) their mood! Poor-fitting granny panties may not be the way to go when you’re heading out for a first date. Instead, opt for a matching pair of underwear, and if you’re feeling feisty, maybe something with extra straps. Even if your new online friend isn’t a good match, your underwear should be.
When you feel your best and know your worth, you’ll be ready for all that the dating world has to throw at you. With a little luck and a little time, you’ll be ready to find love.